


Falling Star

by Aurone



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Soulmate AU, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-10-13 22:43:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10523430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aurone/pseuds/Aurone
Summary: What happens when your soulmate dies tragically young? Soulmate AU set in high school.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Please be advised this fic portrays a graphic description of suicide. If that is a trigger for you please do not read. This is an angsty, sad fic and for that I am sorry.

Hayden grabbed a tray from the stack at the beginning of the school lunch line.  When he saw what was the soup du jour for the day he wrinkled his nose. It was certainly not his favorite meal ever, heck none of the food here was anything to write home about.  It was, however, better than spending the rest of the day hungry. 

_Maybe I should start bringing my lunch_ he thought.

He took his plate of unappetizing food from the lunch lady and headed out into the student seating.  His eyes roved over the room swarming with students.  Hayden was a loner.  He didn’t have a friend of any sort within the student body.  It made lunch period hard.  He never knew where to sit.  You were not allowed to sit too close to a group to which you did not belong.  But there were hardly any places where there was enough space for someone like him to sit and be alone.  He usually read while he ate anyways so it did not matter if he had friends or not.  He just didn’t want to get into another fight with someone because he sat in the wrong place. With his choice of seating weighing on his mind, he forgot to look where he was going.  Until he ran into something that was all too solid.

“Umph,” a voice said.

And then there was the loud crash of two trays hitting the floor.  The cafeteria became completely quiet as all the students looked to see who the unfortunate fool was that dropped their lunch.  Hayden had run into the most popular boy in school, Gabriel or Gabe to his friends.  It was like he was caught in a bad romantic comedy.  Gabe pushed his long red hair back behind his ears and looked up at Hayden and smiled.

“Sorry, man.  I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.  Are you alright?” Gabe said.

Hayden just looked at Gabe blankly.  The most popular kid at school was apologizing to him?  It just didn’t compute for Hayden.  When it finally sank in that Gabe was actually talking to him, Hayden shook his head and knew he need to get his brain back online so he could give some kind of response.

“I. . .am. . .fine.” he stammered. “What about you?”

“All good here, although I think our lunch is toast.”  Gabe replied.

They quietly looked at each other for another moment before Gabe spoke again.

“I have an idea.  Why don’t we clean up this mess, and then while you turn our trays in I will get us some more lunch.  We’ll sit together, ok?”  

Hayden still could not compute that the most popular boy in school wanted to sit with him at lunch.

“Okay?” Hayden replied.

“Good.” said Gabe.

They clean the food off the floor as best they could.  Hayden took their trays to the return line while Gabe went back through the lunch line for more food.

Hayden found them a place to sit at an empty table while he waited for Gabe.  Gabe returned shortly with two new lunches.  He looked around the cafeteria and quickly spotted Hayden.  He walked over to Hayden completely ignoring the calls of his normal crowd to come and sit with them.

“Here ya go.” Gabe said as he put the new lunch in front of Hayden.

They ate for a few minutes in silence until Hayden got up the nerve to ask. “Why?”

Gabe merely lifted one eyebrow in a questioning manner as if to say why, what

“Why are you sitting with me?”  Hayden asked.  “You have friends and you don’t have to be nice to me.  It was as much my fault as yours. “

Gabe shrugged his shoulders.

“Maybe I just wanted a change of pace.  Running into you gave me an excuse to be away from the regular crowd today.”  Gabe replied.

“Hmm. . okay.”  Hayden replied sounding a little like he didn’t believe Gabe’s reasoning and thought there must be another answer.

The warning bell for the end of lunch rang through the cafeteria.

“Thanks for lunch.”  Hayden said.

“We should do it again sometime.” Gabe said as he got up from the table.  He ran the fingers of his left hand through his red hair again.  

_Must be a nervous habit of his_  Hayden thought.  

But why would he be nervous around me?  And then Hayden saw it, a small dragon shaped mark on the underside of Gabe’s wrist.

_It couldn’t be_ .   _He is too young_ .   _Our soulmate marks should not show up until we are 18 years old.  The only reason that soulmate marks came on early is if one half of the pair was in danger of dying before both members of the pair would make it to age 18.  Either Gabe or his soulmate would die before they both hit age 18_.  

It was a sobering thought.  Hayden didn’t know he had been staring at Gabe the whole time.

“Take a picture.  It will last longer.”  Gabe said with a laugh in his voice as he winked at the serious boy.

Hayden blushed as he watched the slender boy walk away towards the return tray area.

Later Hayden wished that he had asked for Gabe’s email or phone number so that they could have kept in touch.  Maybe if he had things would have turned out differently.

***

Friday morning, Hayden was drying off after taking his morning shower when he noticed something on his wrist reflected in the mirror.  It was a dark line of some sort.   

_Was it the beginning of his soulmate mark? He was too young for a mark, unless. . .  Nah, there was no way he was Gabe’s soulmate, right?  He wouldn’t be so lucky._

Hayden shook his head.  Clearing it of those thoughts.  There just was no way that he could be Gabe’s soulmate.

The mark still wasn’t much by the time he got to school, but by lunch he could start to see the dragon take shape.  The war began in Hayden’s head as he grabbed his lunch.  Should he talk to Gabe?  Or wait until the mark was finished?

Hayden sat down with his school lunch in his customary isolated spot and looked around the cafeteria for Gabe.  He spotted him right away, it was hard not too, he was such a vibrant soul.

_Should I go tell him or wait until I can find him alone.  This is something that neither of us want aired to the rest of the school.  I don’t want to embarrass Gabe.  He probably doesn’t want everyone to know his soulmate is a boy._  

Hayden closed his eyes and took a deep breath steadying himself.  He would wait until he could get Gabe alone.  It was alright if he couldn’t talk to him until Monday.   _It wasn’t like they were going anywhere, right?_

Hayden couldn’t get Gabe alone before school ended.  He made plans in his head to catch the boy at his locker before school started on Monday.

_This is going to be a long weekend._

Hayden thought as he walked home.  He couldn’t wait to talk to Gabe on Monday, and show him that they were soulmates. He would finally be alone no longer.  Hayden went through his normal routine on Friday and went to bed early.  He laid awake a long time.  He was agitated and nervous. He just couldn’t settle down.  If he had had Gabe’s number, he would have called him.  He felt like he should be in contact with his soulmate now. Hayden chalked it up to nerves as his brain kept him up with thoughts about Gabe’s reaction to Hayden being his soulmate.  

_Would he be happy?  Would he be mad and refuse to accept him?_  

It had happened before where one half of the soul-marked pair would not accept the other.  That never boded well for either of the pair.  Usually, a person who couldn’t be with their other half went crazy and there was nothing to be done to save them.  Hayden finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

His mom woke Hayden up on Saturday morning.  He helped her with the chores as he normally did.  After lunch, he started his homework.  He knew that his parents wouldn’t let him play any video games until his homework was finished.  It was early in the afternoon when he heard a soul piercing scream in his mind.  He cried out as unbearable pain wracked his body and a heavy sense of loss filled his soul and then Hayden passed out.  His parents came running into his room to find Hayden passed out on his bedroom floor.  His father picked him up, and they rushed him to the hospital.  The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong with the boy and then one of the nurses noticed his wrist.

The nurse asked his parents, “Did you know his soulmark had appeared?”

His mother replied, “What?  No.  He is too young for a soulmark.”

The nurse replied, “Unless his soulmate was fated to die, young.”

She pointed to Hayden’s mark and to the number underneath it.  When your soulmate passed, their date of death appeared beneath your mark.  The date on Hayden’s wrist was today’s date.  His mother began sobbing for her little boy who would never know the love of his soulmate.

The nurse said, “He must have been the soulmate of the boy that was brought in here earlier.  He was in a rappelling accident.  He and his friends were repelling off of lover’s cliff and his rope broke.  He fell several hundred feet.  He was barely alive when they got him to us.  There was nothing we could do.  He passed away about a half hour ago.”

“What was his name?” Hayden’s mother asked quietly.

“Gabriel.”  The nurse replied. “You son should awaken soon and you should gently break the news to him.  Many don’t survive long after the death of their mate.”

Hayden’s parents nodded and with tears in their eyes. They watched over their son until he awoke several hours later.

“Can I have some water?”  Hayden croaked.

“Sure, love.”  His mother replied.

After Hayden drank the water and seemed to gain control of his voice, he asked, “What happened?

“Oh, Hayden.”  His mother replied softly.

His mother started to cry and that worried Hayden.  Maybe he was dying.  Were the early marks because of him

“Son”, his father said, “the pain you felt earlier was caused by the death of your soulmate.  I am so sorry.  It was a climbing accident.  There was nothing anyone could do to save him.”

Hayden shook his head.   _This couldn’t be real.  He couldn’t lose Gabe before he even told him they were soulmates.  It wouldn’t be right.  Wouldn’t be fair._

 

****

Hayden attended the funeral for Gabe.  It seemed like the entire school was there.  And maybe they were, Gabe had been a very popular student after all.  Everyone had given him space at the service.  No one seemed to know what to say to him. Not many people lost their soulmates to death so young.  Often, those who got the warning marks were able to save their mates. But he had failed. He stood by the grave long after everyone left wondering how he was going to make it without his soulmate. Away from prying eyes, he finally began to weep for his loss.  He fell to his knees by Gabe’s headstone collapsing in on himself.

_I am so sorry, Gabe.  It should be me there instead of you.  No one would miss me and everyone will miss you._ Hayden thought.

Hayden stay there by the grave crying until his parents came to pry him from the graveside to take him home. 

****

For the first few months after Gabe’s death, everyone watched Hayden closely.  He knew they thought he would try to join Gabe in death.  He did everything he could to adjust to life after his soulmate and he seemed to get along pretty well; after all he had always been a loner.   That was until his classmates began to turn 18 and get their soulmarks.  Everyone around him was finding their soulmates.  They were finding a happiness that he would never have.  All because he had been too scared to talk to Gabe that Friday before the accident.  

_If he had spoken to him would he have stayed home that weekend and spent it with Hayden instead? Would he be alive now?_  

Those were the thoughts that haunted Hayden every day. 

It had been two years since Hayden had lost Gabe.  He had seemed to adjust so well and he had been so quiet that his parents and teachers had forgotten to watch over him.  His parents thought nothing of it when he told them he was going out hiking that afternoon.  What he didn’t tell them is that he would not be coming back.  As he packed a backpack to take with him, he regretted that he had nothing of Gabe’s to take with him.  He had never had the courage to ask Gabe’s parents for a picture or memento.  They would have been glad to give either to him but they did not know how to approach him any more than he knew how to approach them.  Which was too bad, they could have been a comfort to each other. Hayden packed his hunting knife that his father had given him years ago, when he had hoped to teach Hayden to hunt, fish and camp.  Hayden, more of an intellectual, didn’t take well to his father’s outdoor activities.  However, he kept the knife as a memento to the times he and his Dad spent together.  He set out to find the cliff where his love had died. 

Hayden walked for a couple of hours before he found the cliff where Gabe had died.  He knew he was in the right place because some of the memorial that had been created for Gabe was still there.  Hayden sat on the edge of the cliff.

“I am sorry that I can’t go one without you, Gabe.  You must be disappointed in me.  I wonder what you would have thought if you had known we were soulmates.” Hayden spoke out loud as he gathered his courage to finish what he came to do.

He got out the letter that he had written to his parents and put it in his pocket where someone would be sure to find it.  He felt little explanation was necessary, but he figured they would appreciate it anyways.  He pulled the knife out of his pack and slit his wrist length-wise from wrist to elbow on his left arm and try to do the same to his right but his left arm was too weak by then to be very effective.  Then he laid down on the cliff edge and waited to die. His blood ran across the dirt and down the cliff, perhaps into the same space as Gabe’s.  They would be together soon.  Hayden’s arms hurt and he began to feel cold.  He hoped it would be over soon but he didn’t regret his decision.

******

When Hayden didn’t come home by dark.  His parents began to worry.  They checked everywhere they could think of.  They went to the school, the library, and the park all with no success.  Then they thought of the worst case scenario. They grabbed flashlights and headed to the cliff where they knew Gabe had died.  When they got there they could see that it was too late.  Hayden had been gone for awhile.  His mother just sat in the car and cried while she wondered how she could have prevented this from happening to her baby boy.  His father called the police to come and handle the body.  They would have to investigate the boy’s death even thought it was obviously suicide.  His father saw the letter in his pocket and fished it out.  He didn’t miss the fact that the boy had used the knife he had given him all those years ago. 

Dear Mom and Dad,

 

Please don’t blame yourselves for what  I have done.  There was nothing you or anyone else could have done to save me.  I just cannot go on alone without my soulmate.  It is just too hard.  I want you to know that I love you both and that I am very sorry.

 

Your Loving Son,

 

Hayden

 

After reading the note, Hayden’s father finally began to cry.  He wept until the police arrived. 

***

It was a cold and rainy day when they laid Hayden into the ground.  They laid him next to Gabe in the cemetery where at least they could be together in death.  The funeral wasn’t as big as the one for Gabe; after all, Hayden had been a loner for most of his life where Gabe had been a shining star.  

**Author's Note:**

> This is semi-based on a true event. When I was in junior high, I actually ran into a popular boy in the cafeteria. Let's just say I was not so popular and a loner like Hakkai's character. I don't think he sat with me like what happened in the fic but I can't really remember. He did, however, die in a climbing accident a year or so later. My sister commented that if we had been in a Rom-Com me running into him in the cafeteria would have been the beginning of our story which of course would have ended tragically. Thus the idea for this story was born. Gojyo and Hakkai is a favorite pairing of mine and the only one I could think of that could handle an angsty storyline like this. 
> 
> I am sorry for the sad fic--I promise a fluffy one for them soon.


End file.
